Fresh perspective

Last night our new pastor was installed. An official act of Presbytery, both he and the congregation take vows and listen to charges by other members of the Presbytery. The charge given to our pastor actually gave me something to consider as I prep to teach.
The past couple days I've been feeling really overwhelmed and inadequate, though, as my husband reminded me, that's ridiculous because I've done almost all of this all before, and I've spent several hours a day outside of the parent orientation getting prepared. I think the root of my being upset is pressure I'm putting on myself: to not falter, to keep up my good reputation at the school, and I realized those things are all about ME, what I can do on my own.
A phrase that stood out to me during the charge to the pastor was from the Bible... it's actually a question, and a thought-provoking one at that. "What is your life?" This is based on Paul speaking of how he doesn't regard his own life worth holding on to. The man speaking told a story from Band of Brothers about a soldier paralyzed by fear. Another soldier told him he had to stop worrying about being killed, and in fact expect it, so he could then do his job. Now hopefully my job won't kill me, but the point was to let go of anything that is holding us back. All fears, ties to the world, and in my case, pride mixed with insecurity with a dash of wanting people to like me. What is my life? What is my reputation? I will have succeeded at teaching if I can impact my students for Christ. To do that, I have to get myself out of the way. God in His infinite goodness let me hear exactly what I needed to hear... which is to get over myself, and give it to Him.

What have I gotten myself into?

A year in 55 minutes or less

Today was the last day of orientation at school. One part of my duties today was to teach a class teaching the parents of the students I have how to teach them at home in writing.

(Confused yet?) 

I have some neuroses when it comes to teaching that I need to get over, and every year that goes by I get better at this. A large one is the fact that most of these moms have been homeschooling their kids all along, and their kids are middle schoolers, so they have been schooling longer than I have been teaching. Many of these moms are also old enough to be MY mom. It has been so ingrained in me to respect my elders and be deferential that my first year teaching at ICS I found it difficult to tell these homeschool moms what to do with their kids. It's gotten better. I'm entering my 3rd year teaching at ICS and I only sometimes doubt myself as the "expert" in the classroom. I know I know the material, and I know I know how to teach, but occasionally I feel really young and inexperienced when I am talking to the parents... mostly because I am, in fact, young and inexperienced. 

So this class I taught today, geared at helping parents help their kids at home when doing my writing assignments, felt a little tricky. I was trying to equip them in 55 minutes or less with the tools they will need all year. I found myself frequently reminding the parents that everything I said was about where we are GOING to be eventually, not where I expect everyone to be on Day 1. It was hard to boil down the highlights of what I teach in a school year into one class. I was also a little worried about how the transitional families were going to take what I was saying. I kept praying this week that they would just be open to hearing me and not be stuck in the routine of what has been done all along. They were that and then some. The parents made it easy to talk to them. The only hiccup was that many parents wanted to take my class but had another one conflicting. I was going to record and podcast it, but I couldn't get the recorder turned on. Tomorrow I'm going to try to recreate what I said, based on the handout I gave, and post it for those families. 

After that I had 6th grade parent orientation with the parents and my co-teacher. Now, I have some neuroses, but I don't get nervous talking in front of people anymore. For some reason, when I got up in front of the parents, I was attacked by nerves. It has literally been years since I was nervous speaking in front of people. The families almost all know who I am because they had William last year. There were just a couple newbies, so I don't know what my problem was. I probably shouldn't worry about it but I came away feeling like I made a poor impression. 

Starting today, I was mostly concerned with my writing class and not at all worried about my orientation... my writing class went really smoothly and then I bombed. I'm sure this is one of those times where I'm supposed to be learning an important lesson about life, but I sure don't know what it is.  

weekend of glee

This has been one of the most fun weekends in recent Egg history. Last night we went out for Benita's birthday with her, Sam, Bill and Careth. Benita did my hair and makeup for me, and then we went to eat at El Bodegon, a Spanish tapas place in Winter Park. The food was good, but our waiter was inept and inadvertently provided us with our entertainment for the evening. We knew we were in trouble when we had to ASK him to bring us menus. Then he came back to the table and informed us he didn't speak Spanish. Apparently a table full of pale British Isles-looking people and a Korean need to be warned not to speak Spanish to the waiter. Sam and Benita ordered sangria and the convo went something like this.

Sam: "We would like a 1/2 pitcher of sangria."
Waiter: "A half carafe?"
Sam: "No, a 1/2 pitcher."
Waiter: "So you want a pitcher of sangria."
Sam: "A 1/2 pitcher."
Waiter: "You can get it by the glass too"
Sam: "A 1/2 pitcher please."

The waiter.... brings out an entire pitcher.

Then we order. All the menu options are in Spanish. Now, I can not actually speak Spanish very well (My range in foreign languages is limited to "Excuse me. Hello. How are you? My name is Jessica. Where is the bathroom? Thank you." ) BUT I know how to pronounce the words. I ordered the tapa de la casa and some other thing, but the waiter didn't know what it was and I had to point at the menu. Everyone else did the same thing. I understand not necessarily having to speak Spanish to work at a Spanish restaurant, but if you are going to be a server in Winter Park, you should probably KNOW THE MENU.

"I would like the chorizo."
"The what?"
"The chorizo."
"What?"
"The sausage."
"Ok!"

We got our food... it was delicious. I had octopus, until the waiter decided I'd had enough and cleared my plate. Then he brought out the check and it wasn't split, so we had to wait for him to get back from wherever he was to ask him to split it. He asked, "You want it split according to what you ordered?" We all burst out laughing. I did feel mildly bad because it's kind of a reasonable question but he was so awful throughout the night that it just piled on. If he hadn't ADDED GRATUITY to our bill he wasn't going to get much of a tip.

We ladies went outside while the guys took care of the bill and proceeded to take silly pictures by a statue and climbing up a fake trellis wall outside the restaurant. Benita was taking a picture of me and Careth when a waiter from Rocco's, the restaurant next door, came out and asked if we wanted him to take the picture so we could all be in it. That made us laugh some more as we wondered how many people could actually see us. Then Sam comes bursting through the door of the restaurant: "What are you DOING? Flirting with this guy?" Of course we weren't, and Sam was kidding, but the waiter sheepishly gave back the camera and scooted back inside Rocco's.

After that we went to ABC in the middle of a thunderstorm, then back to Sam and Benita's for margaritas and the opening ceremony of the Olympics. Good times! Pics are on my facebook.

Then this morning, I met my dad at the mall. We did our tradition back to school shopping so I can look nice at work. Benita and Careth joined up, and my dad had to go home, so then it turned into an epic girls' day. I am now the proud owner of a fantastic seersucker suit.

To top off this most awesome weekend, I just ate popcorn and chocolate milk for dinner.

I don't really have a deep point in relating the details of this, just that I love my friends and family! This weekend I have laughed to the point of crying, gotten some cute new clothes, eaten good food... it's been a nice reprieve.

Cookin'

I've started compiling a cookbook. I'm not sure how it's going to go, or how long it's going to take me, because I don't measure when I cook. I throw things in a pan 'til it looks and smells good and then I eat it. My ultimate goal is to get published, but also I want to provide easy, yummy recipes for people that don't have time to mess around in the kitchen all day. To meet both those goals, I'm going to start putting some of those recipes on my blog as I cook them. Writing them out as I make them will help me remember about how much of whatever I threw in the pan. The first installment is right now:

FARFALLE WITH BACON, OLIVES AND GARLIC

Ingredients:

1/2 box Farfalle pasta

4-5 slices Bacon

12 Kalamata Olives

4 cloves Garlic

A swirl of Olive Oil (Purists would fuss at me, but I use Extra Virgin for everything.) 

approx. 1 TB Lemon Juice

Set water over high heat in a large saucepan.

While the water is heating, set 4 or 5 pieces of bacon to crisp in a pan. (Remember to flip it every so often.)

While that is going on, mince 4 cloves of garlic. (I've read that letting the garlic air after you've chopped it releases whatever healthy thing is in them. Who knows if that's true. It certainly can't hurt.)

Water should be at boiling by the time the bacon is done. 

Pour half a box of farfalle in the water.

Set the bacon on paper towel-lined plate to drain. Pour off most of the fat from the pan into a heat-proof container. (Dispose when it's cooled, or save it for greasing a cornbread pan. Trust me; it's delicious.) Set pan aside. 

Boil the pasta to desired consistency. I like mine chewy and tend to cook it for a few minutes less than the recommended time on the box. 

When bacon is cooled slightly, chop into small pieces. 

When the pasta is done, drain it.

Heat the bacon pan just over medium heat. Add enough olive oil to coat bottom of pan and also add about 1 tablespoon of lemon juice. This will de-glaze the pan. (In other words, you get those delicious brown bits from the bacon cooking to come off the pan and into your pasta dish.) 

Add the garlic to the pan. Saute for 30 seconds or so, just 'til the garlic softens. 

Add the pasta to the pan. Give it a good stir so bacon and garlic are mixed through pasta. 

Let everything sit in the pan while you rough-chop a dozen or so kalamata olives. 

Add the olives to the pan, saute everything again 'til well mixed. 

Serve!

***a few notes on this recipe***

1. Kalamatas are really salty and strong. Regular black olives make a fine substitute if kalamatas plus bacon = too much salt for your taste. 

2. Freshly grated parmigiano reggiano adds a touch of pizzazz to the taste and presentation. 

3. This basic recipe works with whatever pasta you have on hand.

4. This makes enough for me and my husband to eat, plus leftovers for lunch the next day. 

4. This is great on its own, or as a base for other ingredients: stir in cooked chicken, steamed broccoli, sauteed mushrooms... whatever strikes your fancy. 

Vestis Virum Reddit

My fashionista friend Benita came over today and gave me a new perspective on my wardrobe by creating a look-book for me. It was fun; like playing dress-up. She went through my closets, pulling pieces together in combinations I never would have thought of but I loved. It was like getting a whole new wardrobe for free. I'll be posting said outfits on here eventually. And you can check out her blog at fashioncheese.blogspot.com

My brain is fried...

But at least I don't have to worry about lesson plans for awhile. For the 4 different grade sections I'm teaching I just finished the first 4 weeks of lesson plans. Some of it is recycled from last year; some of it is brand new; some I'm appropriating from other teachers. This is the part of teaching that makes my head hurt, but it's obviously necessary to be successful in the classroom. I'm not gifted with the minutiae part of life. I'm all about the broad, sweeping themes, the symbolism, the significance, etc. I wish I could fast-forward through the building blocks part. Doing this part of it is always a good reminder of what it is like to be a student. There are unpleasant but necessary parts of learning in order to get to what might be the most enjoyable. 

Also a good reminder of what being a student is like is teacher training, which consumed the majority of last week. We undergo reminders of procedure, go over the handbook, policies, etc., and have grade level team meetings. The fight to pay attention when your noggin has hit critical mass was a prominent part toward the end of every day, and worse towards the end of the week. Two of my non-finer moments of last week, but that were good reminders, came from 2 "everything's funnier when it's inappropriate to laugh" events. While taking notes one morning on my laptop, something funny popped into my head and I typed it out so my husband, who was reading over my shoulder, could see it. He found it hilarious and had to stifle a loud laugh, and his reaction was so funny to me that I then had to squelch the rising laughter and proceeded to shake for the next several minutes. Another time I was struck by something a speaker said and I snorted because I was trying not to laugh. Immediately the people on either side of me smacked me in the leg, which only made it worse. This is how I get when I'm under pressure. I find things hilarious that I wouldn't ordinarily, and it's usually when it's not a great time for me to be laughing. 

Moments like that remind me to be sympathetic to my students. Yes, I expect them to behave. Yes, I expect them to take me seriously when I'm being serious. But sometimes, it just gets to be all too much. There is a place for laughter in education. There is a time to throw solemnity out the window and blow off steam. But it needs to be appropriate. I need to learn to manage stress more effectively so people don't wonder who the nutjob is laughing in the corner when nothing funny is happening. I need to remember that my students are going to occasionally need a break from the essays, the deep discussions, the life lessons. God created humor, and it is good. It's easy to forget that.