I haven’t blogged in awhile. My last couple entries weren’t even my words. The last was a hymn that I was clinging to because of what I was going through at the time. So much has happened since then, and I keep thinking I need to write, but I haven’t had the time or the heart. There were also too many things I wanted to blog about.
There is one thing, though, that keeps coming back to my mind, and it’s mostly related to the hard times. Several years ago, after my Grandma’s funeral, a friend asked me if it gave me closure. I don’t remember what I said because that time is kind of a blur, but I’m sure I wasn’t honest. Closure means to bring to an end or close the door on, and I have come to learn that’s impossible after loss. I hated the word then, and I hate it now, and even in my pain I think I was polite enough not to tell my friend that. (I remember who it was but they probably aren’t reading this. So if by some crazy chance that person is reading this and remembers saying that to me… that’s awkward. Sorry.)
When someone dies, a grandparent, parent, your child, a friend… or someone wanders out of your life, or suddenly and painfully leaves your life, you don’t get to close the door on it, because for the rest of your own life that person isn’t there. I guess it gets easier with time, sort of but not really, but it becomes an indelible mark on your heart that that person is missing. As you go on with the milestones of life, someone isn’t there that ought to be, and it’s unpredictable when that sharp sense of emptiness is going to smack you in the face.
A few months ago something happened that felt like God took my life, turned it upside down, and gave it a good shake. I haven’t landed yet. And it’s never going to not have happened. It’s never going to not affect me. Thank God He blessed me with amazing friends who held me up with prayer, scripture, and love. I think part of the sense of never having closure is that we’re never done learning about God’s character. Everything happens for His glory; I truly believe that, even if I don’t always understand it.
The other day I was talking to a mom at school whom I’ve known for several years now, and we were semi-joking about the lessons in life we get from God, when He reminds us that He’s in control and we’re not, and how sometimes it’s like “I GOT IT! I’M NOT IN CONTROL! CAN WE END THE LESSON NOW?” But it’s about more than that.
When those painful moments come, I remember that God is my refuge and my strength; an ever present help in trouble; the LORD of Hosts is with me. The God of Jacob is my fortress. I still have my Job moments though, of wondering why these things happen when I didn’t do anything wrong. While God has spared me the fury of His answer to Job, He does remind me that the world is a fallen, wicked place, and terrible things happen. But He is sovereign. He is good. He is love. He is mercy. He is my savior, every day. And I don’t want to close the door on that.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
hymn for the moment
Whate'er My God Ordains Is Right
1. Whate’er my God ordains is right,
Holy His will abideth.
I will be still whate’er He does,
And follow where He guideth.
He is my God,
Though dark my road.
He holds me that I shall not fall
Wherefore to Him I leave it all
2. Whate’er my God ordains is right,
He never will deceive me
He leads me by the proper path,
I know He will not leave me
I take, content,
What He hath sent
His hand can turn my griefs away
And patiently I wait His day
3. Whate’er my God ordains is right,
Though now this cup in drinking
May bitter seem to my faint heart,
I take it all unshrinking
My God is true,
Each morn anew
Sweet comfort yet shall fill my heart
And pain and sorrow shall depart
4. Whate’er my God ordains is right,
Here shall my stand be taken
Though sorrow, need, or death be mine,
Yet I am not forsaken
My Father’s care
Is round me there
He holds me that I shall not fall
And so to Him I leave it all
1. Whate’er my God ordains is right,
Holy His will abideth.
I will be still whate’er He does,
And follow where He guideth.
He is my God,
Though dark my road.
He holds me that I shall not fall
Wherefore to Him I leave it all
2. Whate’er my God ordains is right,
He never will deceive me
He leads me by the proper path,
I know He will not leave me
I take, content,
What He hath sent
His hand can turn my griefs away
And patiently I wait His day
3. Whate’er my God ordains is right,
Though now this cup in drinking
May bitter seem to my faint heart,
I take it all unshrinking
My God is true,
Each morn anew
Sweet comfort yet shall fill my heart
And pain and sorrow shall depart
4. Whate’er my God ordains is right,
Here shall my stand be taken
Though sorrow, need, or death be mine,
Yet I am not forsaken
My Father’s care
Is round me there
He holds me that I shall not fall
And so to Him I leave it all
Monday, February 14, 2011
True love.
1 Corinthians 13
1 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 John 4
1 Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. 2 This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, 3 but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world.
4 You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. 5 They are from the world and therefore speak from the viewpoint of the world, and the world listens to them. 6 We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us; but whoever is not from God does not listen to us. This is how we recognize the Spirit[a] of truth and the spirit of falsehood.
7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
13 This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. 16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 17 This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
19 We love because he first loved us. 20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.
1 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 John 4
1 Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. 2 This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, 3 but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world.
4 You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. 5 They are from the world and therefore speak from the viewpoint of the world, and the world listens to them. 6 We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us; but whoever is not from God does not listen to us. This is how we recognize the Spirit[a] of truth and the spirit of falsehood.
7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
13 This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. 16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 17 This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
19 We love because he first loved us. 20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
food for thought
There are days I don’t feel like cooking dinner. I know this might shock some of you ;) When it’s one of those days, I like to have meals in the freezer (and I’m talking meals I didn’t make) since take-out isn’t an option most of the time. Freezer brands tend to be hit and miss on flavor and value, so if you’re like me and want to have emergency frozen dinners on hand, here’s a rundown on some of my favorite, plus a brand I will never ever buy again.
Wanchai Ferry frozen (not the instant box stuff): Every type but the sweet and sour chicken has been really good, and the only reason I don’t like the sweet and sour chicken is because it has pineapple chunks, and the sauce has pineapple flavor. Here is how much I don’t like pineapple: one time at the grocery store I tried a free sample of yogurt smoothie. I picked up the cup, threw it back like a shot, and had to exercise incredible self-control not to spew it all over the free sample lady because all I could taste was pineapple. So the point of that story is, if you like pineapple, the sweet and sour chicken will be just fine. The veggies are slightly soggy but edible. If it’s on sale or I have stackable coupons I’ll buy it, but I wouldn’t buy it full price for any reason. I also make extra rice to stretch the bag of food out further. The pouch that comes with the bag is pretty skimpy (and frozen instant rice is gross anyway.)
Birdseye Steamfresh Vegetables and/or Pasta with sauce: I am really skeptical of frozen veggies. I like my vegetables to be barely cooked so they still have all the crunch unless it’s in soup. I got some Steamfresh bags for free with coupons, otherwise I never would have bought them. They were surprisingly good! The veggies were actually firm, and they weren’t drowning in the sauce. My one complaint is the bag drips because of the steam ventilation system, and my microwave is in a different room from my kitchen, so I left a trail across my kitchen floor the first time I used this product. Next time I will hopefully remember to put the bag in a bowl or on a plate before microwaving.
PF Chang’s: In a word: DELICIOUS! Coupons are rare, but it’s cheaper and easier than takeout, if you’re in the mood for Chinese. The first time I made a bag, I also made extra rice because of past experience with the Wanchai Ferry. It was totally unnecessary. I’d look for sales and stock up on these, but it’s the best flavor and most amount of food of any frozen dinner I’ve tried. If I was under budget on other items I’d buy this full price (and I NEVER pay full price.)
Macaroni Grill: Very good flavor and quality. I would stock up on these if they were ever on BO/GO.
And last, and absolutely least: Contessa Shrimp dinners. I bought two on a BO/GO and was extremely disappointed. I got the Dragon Tail shrimp and the Balsamic Glazed shrimp. The bag claims to serve 2. I microwaved the bag, opened it up, and there were 7, count them 7, shrimp. And they were little ones. If they’d been giant tiger shrimp maybe it would have been ok, but these were smaller than cocktail shrimp. A bag is $6 or $7, I can’t recall exactly, but I only bought it because it was BO/GO. I can buy a pound of shrimp for $5 at my seafood counter. My verdict: TOTAL RIP OFF. And how are 2 people supposed to split 7 shrimp anyway? Stupid.
Wanchai Ferry frozen (not the instant box stuff): Every type but the sweet and sour chicken has been really good, and the only reason I don’t like the sweet and sour chicken is because it has pineapple chunks, and the sauce has pineapple flavor. Here is how much I don’t like pineapple: one time at the grocery store I tried a free sample of yogurt smoothie. I picked up the cup, threw it back like a shot, and had to exercise incredible self-control not to spew it all over the free sample lady because all I could taste was pineapple. So the point of that story is, if you like pineapple, the sweet and sour chicken will be just fine. The veggies are slightly soggy but edible. If it’s on sale or I have stackable coupons I’ll buy it, but I wouldn’t buy it full price for any reason. I also make extra rice to stretch the bag of food out further. The pouch that comes with the bag is pretty skimpy (and frozen instant rice is gross anyway.)
Birdseye Steamfresh Vegetables and/or Pasta with sauce: I am really skeptical of frozen veggies. I like my vegetables to be barely cooked so they still have all the crunch unless it’s in soup. I got some Steamfresh bags for free with coupons, otherwise I never would have bought them. They were surprisingly good! The veggies were actually firm, and they weren’t drowning in the sauce. My one complaint is the bag drips because of the steam ventilation system, and my microwave is in a different room from my kitchen, so I left a trail across my kitchen floor the first time I used this product. Next time I will hopefully remember to put the bag in a bowl or on a plate before microwaving.
PF Chang’s: In a word: DELICIOUS! Coupons are rare, but it’s cheaper and easier than takeout, if you’re in the mood for Chinese. The first time I made a bag, I also made extra rice because of past experience with the Wanchai Ferry. It was totally unnecessary. I’d look for sales and stock up on these, but it’s the best flavor and most amount of food of any frozen dinner I’ve tried. If I was under budget on other items I’d buy this full price (and I NEVER pay full price.)
Macaroni Grill: Very good flavor and quality. I would stock up on these if they were ever on BO/GO.
And last, and absolutely least: Contessa Shrimp dinners. I bought two on a BO/GO and was extremely disappointed. I got the Dragon Tail shrimp and the Balsamic Glazed shrimp. The bag claims to serve 2. I microwaved the bag, opened it up, and there were 7, count them 7, shrimp. And they were little ones. If they’d been giant tiger shrimp maybe it would have been ok, but these were smaller than cocktail shrimp. A bag is $6 or $7, I can’t recall exactly, but I only bought it because it was BO/GO. I can buy a pound of shrimp for $5 at my seafood counter. My verdict: TOTAL RIP OFF. And how are 2 people supposed to split 7 shrimp anyway? Stupid.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Coupons!
Before I go into the tips and strategies that work for me, I want to point out that hip2save.com, which first got me into couponing, and iheartpublix.com, which my local Publix manager told me about, are fantastic places to check for deals and links to specific coupons. This entry is just what works for me.
I do pretty much all my grocery shopping at Publix, except for one trip a month to Sam’s and every couple months I might wander into Whole Foods, and I do pretty much all my toiletry/household shopping at Target, with the occasional side trip to Ulta. It keeps it simple. I’m not going to drive 5 different places on one of my 2 days off during the week, toddler in tow, to save a couple bucks. I occasionally hear people say that Publix is too expensive but I have never found that to be true. I’ve also heard people say it’s not worth the time to coupon. To be completely honest, it does take time and effort to plan around deals but it’s worth it. Case in point: I bought $112 worth of groceries today for $57. I will sacrifice some time to get half my groceries for free, thanks.
My first piece of advice would be to find out your store’s coupon policy. Each Publix has the right to establish their own policy. Mine accepts Target, Albertson’s, Winn Dixie, Walgreen’s, CVS, and I think one other store’s coupons, but they don’t accept Whole Foods as a competitor. They allow a maximum of one Publix coupon, a competitor coupon, and a manufacturer coupon per one item. (I used to get super cheap formula this way, among other things.) They also allow one coupon for each item on a buy one get one free, for example today I bought Fresh Express bagged salad BOGO, and I had two 50 cents off one bag coupons, so I paid $3 for $8 worth of bagged salad. And with the acceptance of competitor coupons, I used an Albertson’s coupon for buy one, get 2 free racks of ribs, which all went into the freezer.
Come up with a filing system that works for you. The first website I mentioned above uses a system of sticking coupons in baseball card style sleeves so you can see each one and taking it with you when you shop. That would drive me crazy. I have an accordion file labeled according to categories, and a couple times a month I clip and organize my coupons, pulling out expired ones, and filing the new ones, and I only take the coupons I plan on using to the store, paper clipped to my list.
Utilize the internet! My mom saves the coupon circulars from the Sunday paper and after she clips her coupons, passes them on to me because I don’t get the paper, and in the meantime I can print them off various sites. The best site out there, in my opinion, is coupons.com. Also, I do Swagbucks, and they recently added a coupon option that is powered by coupons.com, so it’s a win-win. Since my Publix accepts Target coupons, I print coupons off their website (note: sometimes they are manufacturer’s coupons not store coupons, and the only way to find out is to print it.) Every so often, Target will have $1 off produce coupons, which I snatch up. Usually they only print twice per computer, but we have 2 computers, so I maximize savings that way. I currently have several pasta coupons, just waiting for a BO/GO so it’ll all be free. Many companies offer coupons on their facebook sites or for signing up for email newsletters. Redplum.com is also good, as is mambosprouts.com which has natural food product coupons. The Whole Foods website has coupons to print, and I find that it is great for things like Thai Kitchen products, of which Whole Foods has a better variety than Publix.
I clip any coupon I think I might want to use. When the Publix ad comes out, I read through it, write down what’s on sale or bo/go that I want to get, and then go through my coupons to match what I can. If I don’t have a match on a bo/go I’ll go online and see if I can find any coupons to go with the sales. I do the same when I need makeup, face cream, shampoo, etc. before going to Target. Again, I only take the coupons I plan on using, to avoid the trap of buying something just because I have a coupon. If it’s not on my list, I don’t buy it. If it’s not on sale (and it’s not a necessity) I don’t buy it. I don’t buy snack food like crackers unless they’re on a BO/GO, (last time I bought Wheat Thins on BO/GO and I had a Target $1 off purchase of 2 to stack with a manufacturer of the same, so I paid a dollar for 2 boxes) or recently I stocked up on Goldfish for Edward because they were 10 for $10 at Publix. There are occasions I will buy something if it’s not on sale if I have a coupon, but only for a select few items. I love Muir Glen tinned tomatoes, and right now I have some coupons for them. I’m hoping there will be a sale, but if not I’ll go ahead and buy them before the coupons expire because they are so much better than any other brand I’ve tried. (Great for soup, sauces, etc.)
You can’t be brand-loyal on most things, or if you are, be willing to wait til it goes on sale. Fortunately none of us are picky. Everyone eats what I fix, end of story, and we don’t have food allergies, so I don’t have those kinds of considerations to make.
Many people have asked me about my couponing, so I hope this was helpful. What are your best money-saving tips? Do you have more questions about what I do to save money?
I do pretty much all my grocery shopping at Publix, except for one trip a month to Sam’s and every couple months I might wander into Whole Foods, and I do pretty much all my toiletry/household shopping at Target, with the occasional side trip to Ulta. It keeps it simple. I’m not going to drive 5 different places on one of my 2 days off during the week, toddler in tow, to save a couple bucks. I occasionally hear people say that Publix is too expensive but I have never found that to be true. I’ve also heard people say it’s not worth the time to coupon. To be completely honest, it does take time and effort to plan around deals but it’s worth it. Case in point: I bought $112 worth of groceries today for $57. I will sacrifice some time to get half my groceries for free, thanks.
My first piece of advice would be to find out your store’s coupon policy. Each Publix has the right to establish their own policy. Mine accepts Target, Albertson’s, Winn Dixie, Walgreen’s, CVS, and I think one other store’s coupons, but they don’t accept Whole Foods as a competitor. They allow a maximum of one Publix coupon, a competitor coupon, and a manufacturer coupon per one item. (I used to get super cheap formula this way, among other things.) They also allow one coupon for each item on a buy one get one free, for example today I bought Fresh Express bagged salad BOGO, and I had two 50 cents off one bag coupons, so I paid $3 for $8 worth of bagged salad. And with the acceptance of competitor coupons, I used an Albertson’s coupon for buy one, get 2 free racks of ribs, which all went into the freezer.
Come up with a filing system that works for you. The first website I mentioned above uses a system of sticking coupons in baseball card style sleeves so you can see each one and taking it with you when you shop. That would drive me crazy. I have an accordion file labeled according to categories, and a couple times a month I clip and organize my coupons, pulling out expired ones, and filing the new ones, and I only take the coupons I plan on using to the store, paper clipped to my list.
Utilize the internet! My mom saves the coupon circulars from the Sunday paper and after she clips her coupons, passes them on to me because I don’t get the paper, and in the meantime I can print them off various sites. The best site out there, in my opinion, is coupons.com. Also, I do Swagbucks, and they recently added a coupon option that is powered by coupons.com, so it’s a win-win. Since my Publix accepts Target coupons, I print coupons off their website (note: sometimes they are manufacturer’s coupons not store coupons, and the only way to find out is to print it.) Every so often, Target will have $1 off produce coupons, which I snatch up. Usually they only print twice per computer, but we have 2 computers, so I maximize savings that way. I currently have several pasta coupons, just waiting for a BO/GO so it’ll all be free. Many companies offer coupons on their facebook sites or for signing up for email newsletters. Redplum.com is also good, as is mambosprouts.com which has natural food product coupons. The Whole Foods website has coupons to print, and I find that it is great for things like Thai Kitchen products, of which Whole Foods has a better variety than Publix.
I clip any coupon I think I might want to use. When the Publix ad comes out, I read through it, write down what’s on sale or bo/go that I want to get, and then go through my coupons to match what I can. If I don’t have a match on a bo/go I’ll go online and see if I can find any coupons to go with the sales. I do the same when I need makeup, face cream, shampoo, etc. before going to Target. Again, I only take the coupons I plan on using, to avoid the trap of buying something just because I have a coupon. If it’s not on my list, I don’t buy it. If it’s not on sale (and it’s not a necessity) I don’t buy it. I don’t buy snack food like crackers unless they’re on a BO/GO, (last time I bought Wheat Thins on BO/GO and I had a Target $1 off purchase of 2 to stack with a manufacturer of the same, so I paid a dollar for 2 boxes) or recently I stocked up on Goldfish for Edward because they were 10 for $10 at Publix. There are occasions I will buy something if it’s not on sale if I have a coupon, but only for a select few items. I love Muir Glen tinned tomatoes, and right now I have some coupons for them. I’m hoping there will be a sale, but if not I’ll go ahead and buy them before the coupons expire because they are so much better than any other brand I’ve tried. (Great for soup, sauces, etc.)
You can’t be brand-loyal on most things, or if you are, be willing to wait til it goes on sale. Fortunately none of us are picky. Everyone eats what I fix, end of story, and we don’t have food allergies, so I don’t have those kinds of considerations to make.
Many people have asked me about my couponing, so I hope this was helpful. What are your best money-saving tips? Do you have more questions about what I do to save money?
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
A penny saved is a penny earned, or, how Dave Ramsey changed my life.
When William and I had been married for four months, we lost our jobs from the school where we’d been teaching at the time. The person we worked for promised us severance pay and then didn’t give it to us. (That is the really short version of the unethical ineptitude of our previous boss.) We thought about suing after this person refused our repeated requests for Christian mediation, but eventually decided we just needed to move on with our lives. So here we were, newlyweds, with me just finishing up seminary and William in the middle of it, with no major income. One of the families from the school hired me to tutor/babysit, and I was babysitting for others, so I had some money coming in, and William tried his best to find work, but there wasn’t much to be had. This was in February of 2006. We racked up debt, went through our savings, racked up debt, I cashed in my very small investment funds so we could pay rent in August, because we were literally down to our last $100, and oh, did I mention we racked up debt?
When we were quite literally broke, that was William’s first week at ICS, and I had a job offer out of nowhere to work in TFA’s home school program. (I’m grateful I had a job. I’ll leave it at that.) In October, I was also hired at ICS, so I was working 2 part time jobs, William was working 1 part time job, and we were making ends meet. Because of the debt built up from 7 months of very little income, with needing to pay rent and eat, my view toward using credit cards was along the lines of “we’re in it so deep another $20 isn’t going to matter.” At this point in life, I knew how to cook but not really how to shop. I’d plan my meals and buy ingredients, and be happy if what I needed happened to be on sale.
Fast forward to October of 2008. Happy 3rd anniversary to us, we found out we were expecting, shortly after having a discussion about how we were going to start trying in the fall of ’09. William and I were both working full time, but we were without health insurance, so the out of pocket doctor bills were manageable, but there was no extra, and we still had looming debt. And I had a Target habit. And William had a Woot.com habit.
Jump to December 2009. My very wise mom gave us Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover book for Christmas. (Hint, hint, much, mom? Lol.) I sat and read it start to finish, because I have issues and I hate reading books in pieces, and thought it made a lot of sense. William read it too, but he had been trying to get me to listen to Ramsey’s radio program and I wouldn’t, because I HATE TALK RADIO. Ramsey’s principles are simple. Stop using credit cards. Now. If you have lots of money in savings, and lots of debt, that money in your savings isn’t yours. That probably struck the biggest chord with me because we had by this point, with job stability and stable income, built a good savings account. If you are familiar with his plan, you know what comes next. Make a budget based on what you know your income will be and you know what your expenses are. Then, baby step one: Save $1000 fast for your emergency fund. We had above that, but we also had a lot of debt. Not unmanageable, because we always paid the minimum, and sometimes well above, on all our payments, plus we had cable, were able to eat out, etc. We weren’t living hand to mouth, but we weren’t really getting anywhere on the debt. So, next is baby step two: Debt Snowball. Pay off your smallest debt first. Take all debts down to the minimum, except for the smallest, and get rid of it. Then the next smallest. Again, made total sense. But here is where the rubber met the road: we had to take our savings down to $1000 and keep it there, and throw everything else at debt. William and I talked about, prayed about it, and then I took a bold step. I looked up the total balance for 2 credit card accounts I had, which totaled a few hundred dollars, I transferred the exact amount from savings to checking, paid off those cards, canceled them, cut them into pieces, and threw them in the trash. I took all my other credit cards out of my wallet and hid them. This was at the beginning of 2010. I thought I was going to puke, but at the same time it was hugely liberating.
With our new set budget, no using credit cards, and our debt snowball, which by now is a debt BLIZZARD, our life is so different. I grocery shop knowing I have a set amount of money for the week, I clothes shop knowing I have a set amount for the month, etc., and when the money’s gone it’s gone. If something extra comes up, it comes out of another category, not on the credit card. But I had a new challenge of getting as much bang for my buck as I could. This is another topic for another day, but I am a coupon queen now and I love it. I save 40 to 60% off my grocery bill on a regular basis by looking at what’s on sale, matching coupons to the sales, and planning my menu off that, rather than the other way around as I had previously done. It sounds so simple now, and we eat like kings for very little money.
Something I had to adjust to this whole past year was having the emergency fund so you could pay cash for emergencies. Dave Ramsey promises in his book that if you commit to this plan, something crazy WILL HAPPEN to test your mettle, and uses the example of the alternator in your car going out. Well in early spring, my alternator went out. And for what may have been the first time ever, I paid cash for the repairs instead of charging them. Then William had to have an emergency appendectomy and was hospitalized for a weekend. Most of that was covered through state programs, but that was another test. About halfway through the year, William’s car died completely, mine had more trouble, we were blessed with the money to buy William another car, which recently also died, I had to replace a tire on mine, and on and on. There were several times I cried over these events, but we were able to pay for these things with cash, not put it on credit. A few months ago I paid off my last credit card, forever. We have one last debt to pay off. This was the progress we made in one year, from almost 10 different creditors to one. The end is in sight, and then the money we make will truly be ours. Because of all the unexpected car trouble we didn't have as much as we would have liked to have spent for Christmas for people, but oh well. There's next year.
This sounds corny but it’s true, it’s like chains have fallen off of us. I used to check our bank account every day and stress about money. Now I check it once a month or so, because I know exactly what we make and exactly where every last dollar is going. If something comes up, it’s ok. We just go back to minimum payment until our emergency fund is back up to where it needs to be.
I have a much easier time getting rid of things now too. We just sold a few hundred books and a couple bookshelves, I’m dropping off some clothes and shoes and other random stuff for a worthy cause this weekend, and we are still able to go out with friends and enjoy life, without having debt lording it over us.
I keep hearing of Dave Ramsey FPU classes coming up. If you can, TAKE IT. It’ll change your life.
When we were quite literally broke, that was William’s first week at ICS, and I had a job offer out of nowhere to work in TFA’s home school program. (I’m grateful I had a job. I’ll leave it at that.) In October, I was also hired at ICS, so I was working 2 part time jobs, William was working 1 part time job, and we were making ends meet. Because of the debt built up from 7 months of very little income, with needing to pay rent and eat, my view toward using credit cards was along the lines of “we’re in it so deep another $20 isn’t going to matter.” At this point in life, I knew how to cook but not really how to shop. I’d plan my meals and buy ingredients, and be happy if what I needed happened to be on sale.
Fast forward to October of 2008. Happy 3rd anniversary to us, we found out we were expecting, shortly after having a discussion about how we were going to start trying in the fall of ’09. William and I were both working full time, but we were without health insurance, so the out of pocket doctor bills were manageable, but there was no extra, and we still had looming debt. And I had a Target habit. And William had a Woot.com habit.
Jump to December 2009. My very wise mom gave us Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover book for Christmas. (Hint, hint, much, mom? Lol.) I sat and read it start to finish, because I have issues and I hate reading books in pieces, and thought it made a lot of sense. William read it too, but he had been trying to get me to listen to Ramsey’s radio program and I wouldn’t, because I HATE TALK RADIO. Ramsey’s principles are simple. Stop using credit cards. Now. If you have lots of money in savings, and lots of debt, that money in your savings isn’t yours. That probably struck the biggest chord with me because we had by this point, with job stability and stable income, built a good savings account. If you are familiar with his plan, you know what comes next. Make a budget based on what you know your income will be and you know what your expenses are. Then, baby step one: Save $1000 fast for your emergency fund. We had above that, but we also had a lot of debt. Not unmanageable, because we always paid the minimum, and sometimes well above, on all our payments, plus we had cable, were able to eat out, etc. We weren’t living hand to mouth, but we weren’t really getting anywhere on the debt. So, next is baby step two: Debt Snowball. Pay off your smallest debt first. Take all debts down to the minimum, except for the smallest, and get rid of it. Then the next smallest. Again, made total sense. But here is where the rubber met the road: we had to take our savings down to $1000 and keep it there, and throw everything else at debt. William and I talked about, prayed about it, and then I took a bold step. I looked up the total balance for 2 credit card accounts I had, which totaled a few hundred dollars, I transferred the exact amount from savings to checking, paid off those cards, canceled them, cut them into pieces, and threw them in the trash. I took all my other credit cards out of my wallet and hid them. This was at the beginning of 2010. I thought I was going to puke, but at the same time it was hugely liberating.
With our new set budget, no using credit cards, and our debt snowball, which by now is a debt BLIZZARD, our life is so different. I grocery shop knowing I have a set amount of money for the week, I clothes shop knowing I have a set amount for the month, etc., and when the money’s gone it’s gone. If something extra comes up, it comes out of another category, not on the credit card. But I had a new challenge of getting as much bang for my buck as I could. This is another topic for another day, but I am a coupon queen now and I love it. I save 40 to 60% off my grocery bill on a regular basis by looking at what’s on sale, matching coupons to the sales, and planning my menu off that, rather than the other way around as I had previously done. It sounds so simple now, and we eat like kings for very little money.
Something I had to adjust to this whole past year was having the emergency fund so you could pay cash for emergencies. Dave Ramsey promises in his book that if you commit to this plan, something crazy WILL HAPPEN to test your mettle, and uses the example of the alternator in your car going out. Well in early spring, my alternator went out. And for what may have been the first time ever, I paid cash for the repairs instead of charging them. Then William had to have an emergency appendectomy and was hospitalized for a weekend. Most of that was covered through state programs, but that was another test. About halfway through the year, William’s car died completely, mine had more trouble, we were blessed with the money to buy William another car, which recently also died, I had to replace a tire on mine, and on and on. There were several times I cried over these events, but we were able to pay for these things with cash, not put it on credit. A few months ago I paid off my last credit card, forever. We have one last debt to pay off. This was the progress we made in one year, from almost 10 different creditors to one. The end is in sight, and then the money we make will truly be ours. Because of all the unexpected car trouble we didn't have as much as we would have liked to have spent for Christmas for people, but oh well. There's next year.
This sounds corny but it’s true, it’s like chains have fallen off of us. I used to check our bank account every day and stress about money. Now I check it once a month or so, because I know exactly what we make and exactly where every last dollar is going. If something comes up, it’s ok. We just go back to minimum payment until our emergency fund is back up to where it needs to be.
I have a much easier time getting rid of things now too. We just sold a few hundred books and a couple bookshelves, I’m dropping off some clothes and shoes and other random stuff for a worthy cause this weekend, and we are still able to go out with friends and enjoy life, without having debt lording it over us.
I keep hearing of Dave Ramsey FPU classes coming up. If you can, TAKE IT. It’ll change your life.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Does anyone else have this problem?
When I go to get rid of stuff, clothes in particular, it always turns into a battle between my flesh wanting to hold on to possessions and my spirit knowing there's no reason to keep that 6 year old sweater vest I haven't worn in 5... Please tell me I'm not the only one. I'm never more selfish than when I'm trying to weed out my belongings.
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