Things I am thankful for right now, in no particular order:

*My husband devoting hours of our week off to trying to fix my iPod. 

*Sleeping in, in theory. I've woken up at 5 AM every morning this week, groaned at the clock, and slept for another couple hours. 

*Powerschool not working so I have a reason to keep putting off spending my vacation working. 

*The technological advances that let me see my baby's face yesterday, even though little Egglet is about 2 inches long. 

*My wise, loving, fun friends. 

*My parents, brothers, sister in law, nieces, and nephews. 

*Music in general, old hymns in particular. 

*My goofy dog.

*My students who make me a better teacher by asking great questions. 

*Parents of my students who love and encourage me. Your smiles help me make it through the day. 

*My superiors at work: all fantastic. 

*My co-workers. I work with the best middle school team on the planet. 

*Cheetos.

*The new peppermint shake at Chick Fil A.

*Game time with my family.

*Free gifts with purchase

*Bonding over books.

*Living in the same town as my family.

*My morning sickness seems to be over for good

*I get to eat turkey and ham in a matter of hours, surrounded by family, extended family, and friends. 

Those Cullen kids...

Warning: This post contains massive Twilight movie spoilers as well as plot spoilers from the book series. If your name is Joy Baker, stop reading immediately. 

***************************************************************************************

Friday night I went to see the movie production of Twilight, the crazily successful first novel in the series centered around the relationship between a vampire boy and a mortal girl. Along with my sister in law and a good friend, I got in the queue to wait for optimum seating. We got there close to an hour early and just in time. There were maybe 30 to 40 people ahead of us, and 5 minutes later, the line was out the door and around the building. I'd had a slight fear of being one of only 3 adults in the whole theater, but there were actually many other grown-ups there unaccompanied by adolescents. I've been looking forward to this movie ever since I read the book series, tearing through each one til the wee hours of the morning, as I read them over the summer. In preparation for the movie, I re-read the book and also scoured the movie reviews I found online. The mostly negative reviews gave me hope for the movie. 

I was afraid the movie makers would totally screw up the plot and sacrifice the intensity and the sweetness of Edward and Bella's relationship in an attempt to sex it up. The reviews I read almost universally criticized one of the elements I like most in the story: the restraint between the 2 characters. One review said something along the lines of "the pre-feminist morality is scarier than anything else in the movie" and another criticized Bella's character for being willing to give up everything to be with Edward. The local newspaper critic wondered if people could take 3 more movies of the self-control between the teenagers. All these reviews overlook many factors. One of them is that not all teenagers have the self control of rabbits. Another is that in the books, Edward is concerned that he will kill Bella if they get too close. He wants her blood as intensely as he wants to be with her, and he's so strong he might accidentally crush her. Also, he wants to protect her from sinning because she still has a soul. Bella and Edward get married before they do the deed, and those scenes are very much "curtain drawn... you know what they're up to." Though that mostly happens later in the series, the movie did a good job of expressing Edward's torment over desiring to kill Bella from the moment he smells her with his desire to keep her safe. 

One of the themes in the series is sacrificing everything for family. In the first book, the Cullen family puts aside their disagreements on whether Bella should know about them because of their love for Edward. The rest of them have soul mates, and now that Edward has found his, they will do what they can to protect Edward and Bella. This all leads up to a climactic battle in which the family members, usually peaceful, dismember and burn an evil vampire who tried to kill Bella. In the second book, Edward sacrifices himself by leaving Bella when he thinks that he can't keep her safe from his own family (one of the characters loses control when she gives herself a paper cut.) He breaks her heart, and his, to save her life, and near the end of the book, she ends up saving his life. I'll stop with the plot summaries there, but I just wanted to point out that self-sacrificial love is a much better focal point than rabid teenage hormones. There's definitely an "ohhh when is he going to kiss her!" factor to the stories, but it's not the POINT of the story. 

Now back to the movie. From a practical standpoint, the movie suffered from a low budget and lack of effects. They also messed up some pivotal scenes, in my opinion. The meadow scene, which is the turning point in their relationship, got short shrift. None of the characters growled menacingly like they are described in the book (I was really looking forward to hearing how Edward would growl when Bella is threatened during their baseball game...) I also thought that the other high school students were not at all how I pictured them in the book. They were all a little too stereotypical. However, the rest of the casting was brilliant and definitely threw a bone to the fans of the books. The actor who played Jasper was absolutely the best. The look on his face when he walks through the cafeteria at the school totally reflects what only readers would know, that he is the newest to the Cullen's lifestyle of not eating humans, and therefore it is a constant temptation for him. His slightly dazed, slightly sick expression was perfect. Alice, one of the best-written characters in the story, was also spot-on. The books always hint at how dangerously strong she is when fighting but we never see it. In the movie, while Jasper and Emmett are holding James, the evil vampire, Alice lightly runs over, alights on James, and snaps his neck. The juxtaposition between her graceful movements and the violence she is capable of was one of the best visual elements in the movie (which lacked many of those, to be honest. This movie was all about the acting.) It reinforced the constant danger Bella is in, even with vampires who honestly love her and don't want to hurt her. The guy playing Edward did an excellent job too, in his physical mannerisms and the way he spoke. The random rudeness he exhibits, to Bella's bewilderment, was well-portrayed in how he would deliver his lines and walk off, sometimes mid thought, or just after giving a cryptic insult. He was perfectly creepy when he makes Bella say what he really is, and he's perfectly goofy and silly when they show up at school as a couple. He may be over 100 years old, but he's still only 17. 

I always feel a little silly for loving these books so much because they are targeted toward teenage girls, but all the other adults I've recommended them to became equally addicted. It's a strange phenomenon that I'm still not sure I can explain. I've always loved vampire stories... I own many seasons of Buffy and Angel... but it's not just that. The story is so compelling and gripping. I'm totally buying the movie when it comes out, even if I have to elbow adolescents out of the way to do so... 

Vent.

It's been almost a whole month since I last blogged... and now I'm reappearing, but not to say anything terribly important. Just needed to get off some steam.

Here is how my day started: I woke up and began the search for my E-Zone shirt. William kindly emptied the clean-laundry pile AND dirty-laundry pile in the laundry room, but couldn't find it. It wasn't in my drawers, not in the clean laundry basket that's been sitting in my room for a couple weeks now while I ignore it, it's not anywhere. I decided to look on the floor by the bookshelf on which I keep my shoes. I looked down and see my Puma bag, one of my cute pairs of shoes, and my favorite sweater covered in some kind of brown substance. A little afraid of the answer, I summoned William and asked for confirmation of what it was. My dog, Sirius, sweet pet that he is, had gone DIARRHEA all over it. It was dried, which I guess is good... it didn't smell, which I guess is why we didn't notice it before... My gallant husband threw away my shoes for me, cleaned my bag, and put my sweater (which just had a few splatters on it... the bag and shoes got most of it) in the wash. Now I know my poor dog couldn't help it; he must have had to go while we were at work, but did he have to do it on my PUMA BAG? 

Then, most of this morning at school I couldn't talk. My voice came back for the classes I had my students doing a worksheet in. After arriving home, I fiddled around checking my email and whatnot, then decided to take a nap. I'm exhausted, and we have a family dinner tonight that it would be nice if I was semi-coherent for. So, I went to lie down, and no sooner do I curl up under the covers than the ICE CREAM TRUCK comes down my street, blasting stupid "Do Your Ears Hang Low" for several minutes. The truck went away, and I started to relax, thinking I could get at least a few minutes of shut-eye... and lo and behold, some kid decided to walk around outside blowing a flippin' boatswain whistle or something. It sounded like the ones in Sound of Music. Apparently I am destined to be tired, irritable, and annoyed. Either that or there is some divine lesson I am supposed to be learning but I AM TOO TIRED TO COMPREHEND IT! 

I wanted to blog today on something I've been mulling over, that's actually quite serious, about how Christians have given up their most vital weapons in the spiritual war we are in, but that will have to wait until my brain comes back. That could be awhile. 

High school at The Cheesecake Factory

This weekend William and I went out to dinner at The Cheesecake Factory. There were several teenagers in the lobby area, waiting for their table. All dressed up in their fancy dresses and suits, waiting, talking... after a few minutes of observing, they all began to fit into stereotypes. There was the thin, impatient girl who pulled her boyfriend's attention away any time he started to converse with his other friends. There was the jock who was kind of handsy with his date. There was one girl, who, along with her date, seemed like a nice person caught between being popular and being friendly. Most of the time, these 6 were standing in a circle talking. On the outside of the circle were 2 girls who obviously didn't fit the mold that the first 6 had conformed to. Neither were gussied up to the hilt. They were the ones that got the pity invite, only to be snubbed while there. The one nice girl and her date seemed genuinely torn for awhile, trying to include them in the conversation, but eventually almost all of the teens that were in couples sat on the available benches. The outsider girls were left standing. Not one of those guys offered their seat to those girls. I was whispering my observations to William, and he agreed with me. One of the outsider girls had a tattoo in Latin on her foot, which caught William's attention. I bet she is smart, witty, and interested in much more than wearing sparkly dresses and deserves better company than the people she was with. I don't know how those girls felt about being the 7th and 8th wheel in that group, but I know how I felt when that was me, all throughout high school. It's miserable. People tell you you are better than them, but you don't believe it at the time. You can put on a front and pretend you don't care, but you do. Everyone wants to be liked and accepted. What I wanted to tell the 6, and then the 2, is that this is all going to change when they become adults. The social game still exists in college, to some extent, but once you grow up... oh how those tables turn. You realize that you really wouldn't have wanted to be friends with those people. You realize your identity hinges on much more than what you wear, if you are in the "in" crowd, if you have a date to homecoming... but it takes time to realize that. It's easier to let go of those days, because you weren't caught up in it in the first place. It stinks, and you're glad to leave it behind. Those 6 are going to have to learn harder lessons because they've had it easy. As we walked away when our buzzer went off, my final thought was "Thank God those days are over!" I wouldn't go back for a million dollars, but I wouldn't trade what I learned for anything. 

Childhood trauma, deflated.

One of my earliest memories is of my oldest brother getting bitten by a dog. I'm not sure how old I was, but we were living in College Park at the time, and we moved to Dr. Phillips when I was 6. So, I was pretty little. I vividly recall Chris walking into the house, saying he'd been bitten by the dog across the street, Mr. Bill. His entire calf was encircled in jaw marks. I never actually saw Mr. Bill in my few years of cognizance in College Park, but I have an extremely specific vision of him. The Mr. Bill of my memory, that bit my brother and made him go to the hospital for shots, was a huge, yellow, pit-bullish monster with giant teeth. I even wrote a poem in a college class about this memory (I got an A!) For most of my life, I have been scared of dogs because of this event. I was the kid that people had to put their dogs away for when I came over, even fluffy harmless Goldens. I was SERIOUSLY traumatized. (I still am kind of scared of big dogs, even though my own giant dog is a marshmallow.) 

I had my parents over for dinner this weekend and we got to talking about how big dogs are better than little dogs, and my mom said, "Yeah, little dogs always would bite Chris, like that beagle or whatever it was that lived across the street from us in College Park." 

Here is my inner monologue upon hearing that: "A BEAGLE? I was traumatized by a BEAGLE? I feel so cheated! Mr. Bill was a giant, menacing, venomous behemoth! NOT A BEAGLE!!!" 

It has been more than 20 years since that happened, and I am just now finding out that my fears were based on my imagination. I actually feel disappointed that Mr. Bill wasn't the evil giant I made him out to be in my head. Is that weird?

The ordinary, yet no less miraculous.

This has been a hard week. I feel like I am barely skating by in all aspects of my life, and I hate feeling like I am not doing my best. I can't keep my house clean. My lectures at school are nowhere near as thorough as they were last year. My grading turn-around is not as quick. (I did double my hours this year, but I can't convince myself that that is an excuse.) I feel like I'm on edge all the time, and this weekend, William's computer crashed, with all my lesson plans, handouts, worksheets, etc. from last year on it. We had to replace it, and we just had to get our AC fixed for a large amount of money, compared to our educator salary.  Me ---> thin thread, I'm telling you. 

Yesterday we got home from work and opened the door and my first thought was "What happened to all my stuff? Did someone rob... oh, it's just CLEAN!" 

My wonderful, amazing, superb gem of a sister in law had come over while I was at work and cleaned my house. Full-on scrubbed the bathroom, folded laundry, organized the clutter. I have space on my kitchen table. I don't have guilt about the grime in the sink. I feel like Christian in Pilgrim's Progress when his burden is cut of. 

My parent partner today told me, out of nowhere, that she was a certified teacher and if I ever got overloaded and wanted to send papers home to her, she would grade them for me and send them back. 

Today we got home from work and got the mail. I opened one envelope from some company I didn't recognize, and it was a check. I showed it to William and he realized it was from the AC company.  For whatever reason, they sent us some of that money back. 

All of these things have "ordinary", logical explanations. Yet to me, they are miracles. Each area of my life that I feel is beyond my control, God has shown me, really is beyond my control. God is bigger than my stress. God is bigger than my stubborn self-reliance. God has shown me systematically in just 24 hours that He will provide. 

"And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his lifespan?... Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matthew 6:27, 34

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow." James 1:17

Challenge du jour.

We started reading Romeo and Juliet today in my 8th grade class. Explaining why, in Shakespeare's day, biting one's thumb at someone else was cause for offense is a little tricky. Getting them to understand without actually demonstrating the modern day equivalent is interesting, to say the least. Someone asked me how Sampson could bite his thumb without it being obvious to Abraham. The example I offered was someone rubbing their eye with their index finger, but not with their index finger. There was a lot of "ohhhhhh yeah!"s in the room. Then, I had to explain to both classes that in reading the text out loud, they were putting the wrong inflection on the line, "Bring me my sword, ho!" That does change the meaning a bit. I had the same problem last year. It's hard not to laugh while I'm reining them back in. This should be a fun few weeks.