Things Floridians Shouldn't Do

Drive 40 down Hiawassee.

Drive 80 down Apopka Vineland.

Slam on your brakes and hope someone lets you in when you’re merging on I4.

Back into your parking space in the Pointe Orlando parking garage. (Or any parking garage.)

Put your hazards on in the rain. RAIN IS NOT AN EMERGENCY.

Drive down I-Drive if you can possibly help it.

Go to Disney in the summer.

Complain about how hot it is. (Hello… it’s Florida.)

Complain about the rain. (Hello… it’s Florida.)

Complain about the lack of rain. (Hello… well you get the point.)

Complain about the cold. (If you’ve lived here over 2 years, you know it does in fact get cold. Buy a jacket!)

Buy theme park tickets anywhere but the theme park itself.

Tip poorly.

Match someone’s speed as you drive next to them down a busy road at rush hour. Or ever.

Feed the alligators.

Feed the birds.

Call John Morgan.

Skip the sunscreen.