Reunionized

No names are given in order to protect the innocent and the guilty.

My 10 year high school reunion was this past Saturday night. I was nervous all day like I haven't been since I was actually in high school. I had some great times and great friends then, but I was by no means a popular or socially accepted person. I was smart, played the wrong sports, didn't dress like everyone else, wasn't the right kind of pretty, and didn't talk much. When I did I was usually arguing about Calvinism. I was never asked to homecoming or prom or any other outing by a boy. I would go home and cry every day leading up to the event and then go with my girlfriends and have a better time than anybody else. But it still hurt to never be that girl who got to wait for her date to come get her for the high school formal (not a dance, because Baptists are ridiculous.) People always tried to encourage me that I shouldn't care what those people think anyway and I'm too good for them and blah blah. Truth is though, I did care and I did want them to like me.

The past 10 years have been good to me. I have gained confidence, I look good (if I do say so), I have a career and a family, I have amazing friends. I haven't thought about those high school people in years. 10 years, in fact, except for the few I have kept in touch with over the years through email and phone calls, and now facebook. On the way to the reunion I was, as mentioned, nervous. I told William stories of my time at TFA, of how the cliques worked, what the cool sports were, some of my more fun times, and some of the miserable times. As soon as we walked in to the restaurant, I was miserable as I looked around and saw very few people that I cared about seeing. To add to that rush of insecurity I hadn't felt since 1999, no one so much as said hi as I stood there in the doorway not wanting to step in further (and fighting the urge to turn right around and drag my husband with me to go home.) After a few awkward minutes I did see some friendly faces, so we talked a little and laughed at how weird this whole situation was. Then the people that were cooler than me in high school started being friendly. It was nice. But I also have latent feelings of knowing that we didn't talk then, so why should we talk now? It's not like we're going to be friends from now on.

Awhile later someone who had been a good friend in high school showed up and we shared the feeling of only being there mostly out of curiosity to see what has become of everyone. I have to say, on a very shallow note, that 10 years has been really good to some, and really rough on others. It was a very shallow victory indeed but it was still sinfully fun to see that some of the guys who were hot snot back then are now balding but otherwise haven't changed a bit (which is not a good thing.)

During dinner William and I sat with a couple guys that had been truly nice to me at my time in school and we ended up having a really great time. I will say that nothing helps along a conversation with people you haven't seen in 10 years than them taking full advantage of the bar. I myself enjoyed the best glass of shiraz I have ever had as I heard my friends' wild stories of what they've been up to all this time. As the night wound down and I was reaching my limit of how long I could stay away from my baby, I was sincerely sorry to have to leave so soon as I hugged people goodbye and slipped out the door I was so ready to run out of 3 hours before. It'll probably be another 10 years before I see them again, but now it will be something I look forward to.